


Don't Kiss My Lips, Just Hold Me Down

by DefaltManifesto



Series: Soft Dom!Cullen [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kneeling, M/M, Platonic BDSM, Post-What Pride Had Wrought, Shibari, Soft Dom!Cullen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-21 23:24:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13751400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: In fact…it’s just like that. Cole watched a creature of unparalleled horror do what he did – subsume another’s life. Except, Cole hadn’t possessed anyone dead or alive. He’d made himself in the likeness of another and tried to do good, to help where other demons and spirits looked to destroy.“Not me, not me, not me…”The low chant beats out a rhythm against Cullen’s throat. Cullen rubs his back."You’re not Corypheus, Cole,” Cullen says. “You’re nothing like him.”





	Don't Kiss My Lips, Just Hold Me Down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somethingnerdythiswaycomes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingnerdythiswaycomes/gifts).



> There were supposed to be three. Now there's gonna be four. Also this is gifted to somethingnerdythiswaycomes WHO I HAVE MISSED DEARLY AND AM SO HAPPY THEY'RE BACK and who probably wanted hockey kneeling fic, but nope here's some Dragon Age kneeling fic. Cuz really, kneeling fic is good no matter the fandom.
> 
> Title from Hold Me Down by Mr. Kitty which if you ever wanted a theme song for this series that's it.

[The tumblr](http://defaltmanifesto.tumblr.com)

 

Corypheus’ inability to die takes them all by surprise. Cullen spends the first hour after they return sitting at his desk and staring at a map of Skyhold and its defenses and wondering how they’ll survive. His mind is still in a slow moving state when Cole shows up at the end of his desk. Part of him is grateful, wanting nothing more than to feel like he has some sort of control over his life, over anything, but there’s an even stronger part that is too tired.

“Cole,” he starts, trying to figure out how to let him down lightly.

“I just want to be by you,” Cole says. “Please. But your thoughts are so loud I’m not sure I can stay out…”

“Come here,” Cullen says, getting to his feet.

His arms are full of Cole the next moment which is…more comforting than he thought it would be. He’s still not sure why that is, if what arrangement they have is growing past simple affection and aligned interests. Cole murmurs something into his neck, voice barely a whisper like he doesn’t want Cullen to hear, like he doesn’t want to be a burden. Cullen holds him close and rests his cheek on Cole’s head, eyes sliding shut. Cole’s fingers bite at his back through his clothes. He clings like a drowning man and it reminds Cullen of himself after Kinloch when he’d clung to anything that gave him purpose and made him feel real again.

In fact…it’s just like that. Cole watched a creature of unparalleled horror do what he did – subsume another’s life. Except, Cole _hadn’t_ possessed anyone dead or alive. He’d made himself in the likeness of another and tried to do good, to help where other demons and spirits looked to destroy.

“Not me, not me, not me…”

The low chant beats out a rhythm against Cullen’s throat. Cullen rubs his back.

"You’re not Corypheus, Cole,” Cullen says. “You’re nothing like him.”

“But I could be.”

“Make me forget you then,” Cullen says. “Can you do that?”

Cole pulls back, shaking his head so hard Cullen worries he’ll be dizzy. “No, I don’t want you to!”

“But can you?” Cullen asks.

The panic in Cole’s eyes drains away. “Oh…no. I can’t. Not anymore.”

Cullen settles his hands on Cole’s shoulders. “So you couldn’t be Corypheus even if you wanted to be. You’re too human now and I’m willing to bet it’s impossible to go back to being a spirit after you’ve been human like this.”

All the tension in Cole’s wiry frame seems to evaporate at once and he leans heavily against Cullen’s desk. Cullen lets his hands fall to his hips instead. He can’t quite bring himself to let go.

“Mind racing, heart pounding, couldn’t think enough to remember. I’m sorry,” Cole says. “You said you don’t have the time. I lied and said I wanted to be near you only but now I just need and take and use-“

“Hey, none of that,” Cullen says. “I can’t give you more right now, and I am sorry about that but I’m just…tired. But I’m glad you’re here.”

“What now?” Cole asks.

Cullen lets his hand slide up and down Cullen’s side. “We’re going to do what we usually do.”

The anxious exhaustion fades as he starts their routine, drawing the curtains of his office and slinging the bolt down to prevent interruptions. Next, he unlocks the lower drawer and brings out the rope. He has no desire for anything complicated. They head upstairs and Cole strips out of his shirt and stands in the center of the room as Cullen does a slow circle around him before drawing Cole’s arms behind him, hands grasping his elbows, before pushing him down to kneel on the ground. It’s Cullen’s favorite position for him. He has more to work with.

He kneels behind Cole and begins to bind his arms together. Cullen starts on his left arm. He wraps down the arm, stopping to tie a simple knot after each loop until there’s a steady line of them down one arm, across his bound forearms, and up the other. He listens to Cole’s breath even out as the rope slides against his skin. From there, it’s a set of crisscrossing lines from arm to arm with knots marking a straight line down. By the time he’s done, he’s calmer than before. Nothing matters beyond how beautiful Cole looks like this and how much he trusts Cullen to keep him grounded.

“Alright, up,” he says.

He guides Cole with a hand at the back of his neck to the fire place where he has his reading chair set up. After grabbing a spare pillow from his bed and placing it near the chair, he urges Cole to kneel. Cole does so, head bowed. Cullen takes a seat in the chair and draws Cole close with a gentle but persistent hand until Cole’s head presses into his thigh. He watches Cole’s arms tense in their bindings, like he wants to touch Cullen, and then he goes still again with a frustrated noise. Cullen grabs the book sitting on the end table next to him and flips open to where he was last.

It’s a book on dream walkers, something Cullen had to beg for from Vivienne. She hadn’t been convinced he’d take care of it properly, at least until she’d come by his office and seen his meticulously well-kept book collection. It was the closest literature he had on someone who’s experience was anything like Cole’s so it’d been worth the begging, given that those types of mages could walk in the minds of anyone asleep. He wanted to understand, at least a little, about how Cole’s brain worked. It isn’t until twenty pages in that Cole relaxes. He sinks against Cullen’s leg and turns his face into his knee. Each breath he takes is longer on the exhale. Cullen sets a hand at the back of his neck, only pulling away to turn the page and Cole never stirs even when the hand returns.

It still amazes him. That Cole can see inside his mind and _trust_ enough to be bound and placed as his feet stirs something in him like pride, which is something he’d been certain he’d never truly feel again. It amazes him too, that someone who takes all of life’s experiences with an almost frantic desire can slow down to this. The control that had felt as though it’d been ripped away settles into his bones as he rubs a thumb along Cole’s hairline. Rope and a touch was all he needed to control Cole and bring him peace. That had to mean something.

Cole makes a soft noise and inhales.

Cullen shuts the book and slides his fingers through Cole’s hair, tugging his head back until he’s sitting up straight.

"Better?” he asks.

"Quiet, hushed, soft, thoughts too slow to catch. Yes, I am much better,” Cole says. “And you?”

Cullen smiles as he moves to sit on the rug in front of him, cupping his face with one hand. “Too tired to read my mind?”

Cole presses his face into Cullen’s hand and nods. “I…think I might sleep.”

“Let’s get you into bed then.”

It’s not often, but Cole sleeps in snatches of minutes. Cullen has only seen it twice, but he supposes it’s not surprising that today of all days would push Cole’s inhuman stamina to its limits. He undoes the knots one by one until Cole is free. Cole turns and for another few minutes, Cullen finds himself holding him close, half in his lap. He’d never thought of himself as touch-starved. It wasn’t until he was confronted with Cole’s incessant need to be _close_ that he realized that often, he wanted it just as desperately as Cole did and it was only his humanity that kept him from reaching out.

Luckily, Cole does enough reaching for the both of them.

“Will you be staying the night?” Cullen asks.

“Yes, I want to be held,” Cole says.

Cullen smiles and guides them both to their feet. He rubs Cole’s arms with gentle sweeps, helping the blood flow a little better, before guiding them towards the bed. Cole sits and watches as Cullen wraps and stores the rope in his chest before pulling out his sleep clothes and changing, a sleepy and dazed look in his eyes. Cullen digs out a smaller length of soft green rope and returns to the bed.

“Give me your hands,” he says.

Cole offers his hands up and Cullen ties them together at the wrist. He keeps the ties loose. If Cole moved just right, he’d be able to slide right out of them, but it will give him something to push against and sink into throughout the night.

“Thank you,” Cole says.

“Thank you for coming here,” Cullen says, holding Cole’s hands between his. “This helped me too. I’m glad we can do that for each other, especially in a time like this.”

Cole smiles and leans into him. Cullen wraps an arm around his shoulders and holds him close. They’ll sleep soon. For now, he just wants to hold him a little longer.


End file.
